Great Idea, W. !!!

[Goodthrust]

Don't say our president doesn't come up with some great ideas. This has to be one of his best yet ;) .

LARK

The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC
July 23, 2002

Dear Concerned Citizen:

Thank you for your recent letter roundly criticizing our treatment of the Taliban and El Qaeda detainees currently being held at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. My administration takes these matters seriously, and your opinion was heard loud and clear here in Washington.

You'll be pleased to learn that, thanks to the concerns of citizens like you, we are creating a new division of the Terrorist Retraining Program to be called "Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers" program, or LARK for short. In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided to place one terrorist under your personal care. Your personal detainee has been selected and scheduled for transportation under heavily armed guard to your residence next Monday. Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud (you can just call him Ahmed) is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of admonishment. It will likely be necessary for you to hire some assistant caretakers. We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with those you so strongly recommended in your letter.

Ahmed's meal requirements are simple, but we strongly suggest serving meals that do not require utensils, particularly knives and forks. Also, these should be "finger foods"; Ahmed will not eat with his left hand since he uses it to wipe himself after purging his bowels (which he will do in your yard)- but look on the bright side... no increase in the toilet paper bill!

He generally bathes quarterly with the change of seasons, assuming that it rains, and he washes his clothes simultaneously. This should help with your water bill. Also, your new friend has a really bad case of body lice that hasn't been completely remedied. Please heed the large orange notice attached to your detainee. Although Ahmed is a sociopath and extremely violent, we hope that your sensitivity and kindness will help him overcome these character flaws. Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural differences. He will bite you, given the chance, but his rabies test came back negative, so not to worry. We understand that you plan to offer counseling and home schooling.

Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and can extinguish human life with simple items such as a pencil or nail clippers. We do not suggest that you ask him to demonstrate these skills at your next yoga group. He is also expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices from common household products, so you may wish to keep those items locked up, unless (in your opinion) this might offend him. Ahmed will not wish to interact with your wife or daughters (except sexually) since he views females as a subhuman form of property. However, he will be eager to assist with the education of your sons, so have several copies of the Q'uran available for their use.

Oh, and rest assured that he absolutely loves animals especially cats and dogs. He prefers them roasted, but raw is fine, too, if they aren't more than 2 or 3 days dead. Thanks again for your letter. We truly appreciate it when folks like you, who know so much, keep us informed of the proper way to do our job. We think this watching over each other's shoulder is such a good way for people to interact that we will be sending a team of federal officials with expertise in your line of work to your place of business soon, just to help you do your job better.

Don't be concerned that they have the power to close your business, seize your property, and arrest you for any violation of the 4,850,206 federal laws, codes, regulations and rules that apply to your profession. They're really there just to make sure you're doing everything the proper way.
That is what you wanted, right?

Well, thank you for this opportunity to interact with such a valued member of the citizenry. You take good care of Ahmed - and remember... we'll be watching.

Cordially,
George W. Bush

[xavierd]

LOL I love it!

[EviL McGyver]

Too bad something like that wouldnt happen. I bet some of the liberal idiots would learn a few lessons.......

EM

[TotalCarnage]

Refer to the liberal idiots all you want, but the conservative idiots have lost their minds. There is point where you have to fight and finish the battles you have going and not start picking fights with everyone you don't like. Right now we have 0 control in Israel, battles still going in Afganistan, threats made against, IRAQ, Iran, North Korea and Sudan.. we are assisting in the Phillipines. At some point you have to decide what you agenda is and take care of something one at a time. Picking fights with half the planet isn't a good idea especially when you are not getting much support from abroad for it.
Right now our economy is completely in the shitter, yet all we do is spend, spend, spend. At some point the conservatives in the government need to wake the hell up and figure out that the gravy train isn't never ending. Personally, I can't remember the last time the DOW was below 8000, my 401K looks like complete shit and right now all I can do is move my money so I don't lose any more of it.
We jest and I know its all in good fun, but to be quite honest we need to take a hard look at our government, because win, lose or draw. They are making some bad decisions right now.

[EviL McGyver]

I had figured the conservative had already lost their minds...hehe

And to top all of the other stuff off, we are seriously considering dropping in more than 250,000 ground troops for an assault on Iraq. Scary stuff man.

For some good info without slants check this site out:

http://directory.kol-israel.com/asites/favorites.html?www.debka.com/hebrew/

When it opens it is in Hebrew. There is a link in the upper right to switch to the English version......

Yes, sometimes it seems slanted pro Israeli, but there has been good info on this site that you NEVER hear about in our news media.

EM

[GRUNT]

Uh, Evil. My Hebrew is not really up to date. How do you set the page to English.

[GRUNT]

Uh, like you already wrote that but I was too ignorant to read your whole post. Uh I feel like an ass.

[Goodthrust]

I generally despise liberal idiots more than conservative idiots, but man, there's PLENTY of both to go around. In the end, they both just want power and dominance - the liberals by subjugating the masses in the guise of their 'benevolence' to those in need; the conservatives by forcing their 'values' down everyone else's throats. They're both hypocrites on MANY issues and they both have good sides to their platforms - liberals through their social tolerance to different lifestyles; the conservatives through their belief in the individual's ability to succeed and the power of the free market.

Fortunately there is an alternative - the Libertarian Party and their fundamental belief in individual liberty and self determination combined with a laissez-faire attituded towards free market enterprise. Granted, they are nowhere close to capturing even a medium level post, but you have to start somewhere and if you don't vote as close to your philosophy as possible, things will NEVER change and we'll always be stuck with a two party, republicratic, system.

The letter in this post was only meant to be funny, not make a political statement. I don't like many of the measures proposed by W.'s team due to the loss of liberties in the name of 'perceived' safety from terrorism. I also feel that we can't fight every battle out there, but I do believe they have identified an agenda of stopping the spread of terrorism and are doing what they can militarily to succeed. I don't believe we should be involved in the middle east conflict, unless it in some way poses a threat to the safety of the U.S. economy or citizenry. I don't think we should be sending billions to foriegn governments (some even our stated enemies), yet have many economic problems here at home. However, I realize that things are not always black and white and I don't know all the facts about every issue, that's what our elected officials are SUPPOSEDLY for. Also, if you want to blame anyone for spending irresponsibly, again, there is plenty of blame to go around, but at least the conservatives are trying to spend it on national defense issues (which is the only thing specifically referred to in the constitution), instead of entitlement programs.

Lastly, I don't agree that, in general, our economy is in the shitter. Many sectors have positive economic indicators. The stock markets are obviously taking a hit due to many recent events. However, if your money is in a 401k, then you are a long term investor and this short term fluctuation really shouldn't be important to you as long as you are diversified. Actually, there is much common opinion that stock index funds are the way to go for long-term investors (unless you are close to retirement and then bond index funds are the way to go) - and many argue that everyone should ONLY be a long-term investor. If so, over the long haul, you are historically guaranteed around a 10-12% return for any 20-30 period. And, even if you were close to retirement, most, if not all of your assets should be in the bond market, which is doing quite well (around 7% return). For reference, I suggest any of John Bogle's books.

Not trying to provoke an arguement with anyone, I just like to discuss this kind of stuff with anyone who'll listen.

And, of course, it's only my opinion ....

[TotalCarnage]

I look at it like this. I'm fortunate because my company is still making money. However, when you see the likes of Enron, Worldcom etc go down and declare bankruptcy it creates a trickle down effect that is hard to recover from. Think about how many smaller companies now have to suck it up because WorldCom has protection from its creditors and doesn't have to pay up. We had the same problem here with K-mart. The stock market will come back, its already doing so today, however its really hard to look at the money I've lost in my 401K this year when I probably would have been better off putting it in a savings account and collecting my measly 2%. I don't think you can use an previous long term investment table as a basis for your money is going to look like for the next 20 years. To much has happened for that to be even remotely close to factual. In addition, given the amount of "funny accounting" that has taken place over the last 5 years how can you be sure that you will have any money left next month. There are more Enrons and WorldCom's out there...we just don't know it yet.
I always laugh when I hear someone say the Republicans are building the military and defense again. Shit, they damn well aught to because it was Reagan that started cutting that crap back to start with. I remember clearly because my father was slated to get a good paying job with OSI or NSA but because of the cut backs the job was eliminated. I myself am republican, although I would have to say I'd fall into the Liberal Republican category...I've always tended to find myself at the middle of most things versus the outer fringes. Am I willing to give up a few personal liberties to make things safer when I travel abroad and the like? Sure, but you can't have my gun.
The Panhandle of Florida is a republican strong hold. The military precense here pretty much dictates that. The thing that I find ironic to this day and always will is that every party does what's in their best interest, not what's in the best interest of the country and its citizens.

BTW, good site EM. :) Not ranting at anyone in particular :)

[Goodthrust]

Well, let me point out a few things to think about. First, the stock market has historically performed at around a 12% return over any 20-30 year period. You're right in that past performance DOES NOT guarantee future return, but I disagree with the 'To much has happened for that to be even remotely close to factual' arguement. In fact, we have seen significant events greatly impact the market the last few years, the dotcom boom/bust period, 9/11, war on terrorism, etc. However, I include WWI, WWII, Korea, the 70's oil crisis, Vietnam, etc. to be as significant or in some cases MUCH more significant than recent events - and the market continued its 12-13% return trend through these world changing events events (given that you are looking at a 'retirement' type timeframe of 20-30 years). A good place to check out market commentary and get common sense financial advice is The Motley Fool (http://www.fool.com) - start with this article Are You A Fool (http://www.fool.com/portfolios/rulebreaker/2000/rulebreaker000414.htm) , and trust that I don't mean ANYTHING derogatorily in using the word fool, it's part of their schtick.

I too, believe that we will probably see more Enrons, Global Crossings, etc., but the bottom line is that if your diversified in your holdings, you will weather these storms. You hear the horror stories about people losing their retirement funds, but the truth is, they were stupid enough to keep everything tied up in one investment. It's absolutely insane to have your income and all your retirement savings riding on a single company. I never have more than 5% of my retirement holdings in my or my wife's company.

Second, defense spending about doubled during the Reagan era. From $158 billion in 1981 to $304 billion in 1989. Granted, as a percentage of GDP, it remained relatively flat, but then GDP was rising tremendously during this time also. The Carter years saw a serious decline in defense spending and the capability of our military was greatly reduced until Reagan built it back up. Unfortunately, the Clinton years saw another decline in military spending and a subsequent decrease in our capabilities. Keep in mind that national defense was the PRIME reason for the forming of the US of A in the first place (yep, it's right there in the constitution, unlike stuff that most people THINK is in there, like seperation of church and state, right to a trial by a jury of your peers, etc., etc.).

For some interesting insight into what really happened during the Reagan years, take a look at What Really Happened in the 80s (http://www.atr.org/pdffiles/090101pb.pdf) , The Real Reagan record - Heritage (http://www.heritage.org/library/backgrounder/pdf/bg_1414.pdf) or probably the most balanced, The Real Reagan Record - Cato Policy Analysis (http://www.geocities.com/guyvbarnes/Miscellaneous/reaganrecordcatoinstitute.html) - especially read the 'Fables' of the Reagan era in the Cato report. The Cato Institute is probably the most balanced, showing the economic gains AND the fiscal shortcomings - most notably the rising national debt and federal deficits (although Congress passed around $100 billion more in spending than Reagan wanted).

And last, but not least, I understand on the face of it, why people say they would give up some personal liberties for the 'feeling' of being safer, and I SURE understand it when you say 'Not my gun, you don't!', but it's a slippery slope from police roadblocks/checkpoints, rampant wiretaps, holding people (yes, even terrorist suspects) without due process, etc. to the point where they WILL be coming for your firearms. There's a reason that things become cliche', such as, 'Give 'em an inch ...' I don't want to give them an inch.

Sorry for the lengthy post, but as you can tell I LOVE to discuss political philosophy. And remember that I realize this is only my opinion/interpretation of the facts as I see them presented, I don't claim any omnipotence as far as thinking I know all the answers, I just REALLY like discussing this with intelligent, thinking folks who may have different opinions than I do. I, in no way am trying to rant or slam anyone else :) .

Guy

[GhengisXP]

Good post and for a large extent I agree with your points. Freedom for security = neither.
Your freedoms for their security ..

[TotalCarnage]

I usually don't because I see things from my narrow minded point of view...besides...opinions are like assholes, everybodies got one. :)

[GhengisXP]

Originally posted by TotalCarnage
I usually don't because I see things from my narrow minded point of view...besides...opinions are like assholes, everybodies got one. :)

I got two!! Tops and Bottoms!!!

[TotalCarnage]

:crazy: