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EviL McGyver
05-17-2002, 01:24 PM
1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female......Any part under a car’s hood.
Male........The strap fastener on a woman’s bra.
2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female......Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another.
Male........Playing football without a cup.
3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female......The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one’s partner.
Male........Leaving a note before taking off for a weekend with the boys.
4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment)
Female.......A desire to get married and raise a family. Male.........Not trying to pick up other women while out with one’s girlfriend.
5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.v.
Female......A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male........Anything that can be done while drinking, and ends with sex.
6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female......An embarrassing by-product of digestion.
Male........A source of entertainment, self-statement and male bonding.
7. MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female......The greatest statement of intimacy a couple can achieve..
Male........Call it whatever you want just as long as we end up in bed.
8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female.......A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male.........A device for scanning through all 175 channels every 5 minutes.

Grandpa
05-18-2002, 12:30 AM
That about sums it up!!!!!! :)

Gramps

Dark Star
05-19-2002, 12:16 AM
or these....

Girls' English

Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
"It's your decision" = The correct decision should be obvious by now!
" Do what u want" = You'll pay 4 this later!
"We need to talk" = I need to bitch.
"Sure......Go ahead" = I don't want you too.
" I'm not upset" = Of course I'm upset, u stupid moron!
" How much do u love me?" = I did something today your not goin' like me for.
"does my ass look big?" = Tell me i'm beautiful.
" You have to learn to communicate!" = Just agree with me.
" Are you listening to me?" = Too late, you're dead!



Guy's English

" I'm hungry" = I'm hungry
" I'm sleepy" = I'm sleepy
" I'm tired " = I'm tired
" Do you want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventaully like to have sex with you.
" Can I take you to dinner?" = I'd eventaully like to have sex with you.
" Can I call you sometime?" = I'd eventaully like to have sex with you.
" May I have this dance?" = I'd eventaully like to have sex with you.
"Nice dress" = Nice cleavage.
" You look tensed, let me give you a massage" = I want to fondle you.
" What's wrong? " = What meaningless self inflicted pshychological trauma are you going through now?
" What's wrong?" = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.
"I'm bored" = Do you want to have sex?
" I love you" = Let's have sex right now.
" I love you too" = Okay i said it we'd better have sex now!
" Let's talk" = I am tryin' to impress you by shown that I'm a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me!
" Will you marry me?" = I want to make it illegel 4 you to have sex with other guys.

Dr.Doom
05-19-2002, 12:04 PM
I'm married now. What's sex?

Dr. Doom

Dark Star
05-19-2002, 01:28 PM
Um :D

Majki
05-19-2002, 02:44 PM
:D same Dr. Doom,...., same here.... :D

TotalCarnage
05-19-2002, 04:48 PM
Hmm....sex, never have a problem getting it, even when my wife was preggers. OF course the bonus with sex when she's pregnant is she can't get pregnant.....stress reliever :)

Grandpa
05-19-2002, 07:09 PM
Can we take this to the private side of the house!!!! More info than I wanted to know!

Gramps:puke:

Euroranger
05-19-2002, 09:01 PM
Originally posted by Dr.Doom
I'm married now. What's sex?

Dr. Doom

Wow...and here I thought I was the only one...

Doom, perhaps we should look into getting that Married Man Motto emblazoned on a cool looking T-shirt.

Picture it...a small white ball and chain on the front left...and on the back...the motto. They'd sell like hotcakes. :D